The Author's Story
by carifoo2001
Summary: The Doctor says that Time can be rewritten, but who writes it in the first place? The Author! Follow the second-to-last Time Lord in her adventures as she tries to avoid the Doctor.
1. Prologue

**I got this idea from a meme on Facebook...**

Yello there! I'm the Author.

I write.

Not just any little stories, though.

I write time.

How did I end up getting the privilege to do such a thing, you ask?

Well, once upon a time, there was this war. And during this war, many, many, _many _things died.

Including my people.

The great Rassilon knew that the planet was going to burn, so he helped me escape by giving me the Key.

The Key looks like any old key, but it opens the most important thing in the universe.

Well, no, it opens the TARDIS that can take you to the most important thing in the universe, but pshh. Close enough…

The Key opens a very special TARDIS, the only one that had ever been like it. The TARDIS is the only TARDIS to be able to travel to the Room, the place where Time doesn't exist. You could spend a lifetime in there and never age.

The Room is shapeless. Fuzzy. Completely different every time I go there. But the thing that's always the same is a piece of paper and a pencil.

There might be only one piece of paper, but it can fit infinite words on it. This is where time is written, and I am the only one in existence with access to it.

You might be thinking, "But isn't there a lot to write about? The universe is ginormous, and there are a lot of nanoseconds to write about." Well, like I said before, Time has a mind of its own, so it can fill in the places I don't write about.

You could call me a god, I guess. I know every single thing in the universe. The only problem is that I forget everything, including what I'd written, as soon as I leave the Room. But it isn't a problem to me. I don't want to know everything in the universe.

Time has a sense of humor. I know this because of all the Daleks that keep reappearing. I have to write about the Doctor destroying the Daleks before Time lets them destroy the universe.

Then, there's very annoying parts in my job when people somehow take matters into their own hands and rewrite everything that I've written. Or everything Time has written. Yes, Doctor, I know that Time can be rewritten, but when you do that, you're just saying that I'm bad at my job.

The most annoying part was when the Doctor thought it was okay to call himself Time Lord Victorious and change a major point in history that I wrote myself. I could've gone back in there and tweaked it a bit so the future wouldn't end up completely different, but it was insulting. Luckily, it was fixed without me having to do anything.

I've tried writing about myself before, to make me go do something after I get out of the Room and reenter time, but Time doesn't let me, so I have to just let it do what it wants with my life.

I spend most of my time in the Room, or, you know, none of my time, since Time doesn't exist in the Room. When I do get out of the Room, I usually go and find something fun to do, staying away from major things, including the Doctor.

Especially the Doctor.

I can't ever let him know that another like him still existed. I have to keep myself hidden, even if it means I can't ever see him again, which breaks my hearts.

**Please tell me what you think so far! I hope it sounds interesting...**


	2. You Blew Up Her House, Author!

**Okay, here's chapter one. I wrote a very long time to make a very long chapter, almost twice as long as my usual chapters. Hope you like it! **

"Alright, fine, you can be a jerk all you want, but not to me. We're through," Azalea Zimmers hung up her cell phone and sighed. She didn't even know why she'd started dating Frederick. Correction: She didn't even know why she'd started dating in the first place. It was tiring, and it put her in a bad mood.

She dub through her cupboards for something to eat. She cursed herself when she'd realized she hadn't gone shopping yet, and decided to check the newspaper. She'd already gotten the mail earlier, so she just had to grab it off the table and read. She walked into the dining room, her brown ponytail swishing as she walked.

On the front page was a picture of a blonde girl who had apparently been missing for 8 years, and had been presumed dead. She'd probably joined some gang or something. It didn't matter to Azalea.

Suddenly, her cell phone rang, playing a Robbie Williams song. She picked it up; checking the caller ID to make sure it wasn't Frederick. It was a number she didn't recognize. She was about to press ignore, but decided to answer it instead.

"Hello?" she said.

"Yello there! You should get out of your house," said the other voice on the line cheerfully, with a Cockney accent.

"Who is this?" Azalea asked.

"Not important. You _really _need to get out. Right now," it said more seriously.

The voice had been so serious, Azalea obeyed, running out of her house. Just as she did so, the small, one person house blew up. Literally. Her entire house exploded. She gaped at it.

All of a sudden she was being pulled by her arm backwards. The person that had done so closed the door in front of her.

"There. Safe." The person that had pulled Azalea's arm was a ginger woman with long, wavy hair and bright blue eyes. She wore some strange clothes. A plaid dark blue and white scarf, fedora, and loose neck tie, a long men's dark blue trench coat, and dark blue trainers that weren't tied.

The woman caught Azalea looking at her outfit. "Got a problem with my fashion sense?" But it wasn't defensive, it was humorous.

"Um… Uh… No…" Azalea looked around. "Where are we? This isn't in front of my house…" she paused, "which just blew up!" The room they were in was very strange. It had a huge cylinder thing in the middle, with a sort of table surrounding it with countless levers and buttons.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Hydroelectric radiation experiment. It doesn't exist on Earth, so the neutron magnetized to the nearest eccentric substance, which turned out to be your house. The electrons collided, and BOOM!**(1)**" The woman jumped in the air, stretching her arms out.

"I have no idea what that means," Azalea said.

The woman ignored her. "I'm the one that called you and made you get out. I don't normally interact with living things, but you wouldn't be living if I hadn't called you. And it would have been my fault, since it was my experiment. I knew I should've done this on Raxacoricofallapatorius instead!" She sighed. "I haven't killed anybody before, well, I don't remember at the moment, but I probably…" she trailed off. "I'm the Author, by the way. Who're you?"

Caught off guard by her question, Azalea hesitated. "Azalea Zimmers," she replied.

"Azalea? Isn't that an Earth flower?" the Author said. "An Earth flower…. Like a rose…" The Author frowned for a second, but bounced back to her cheerfulness.

"Your house is gone now, and it's my fault. So, how would you like me to help you find another house? I'll pay for it."

"A stranger that won't even tell me her name would help me buy a house?" Azalea said, disbelieving.

"Well, why not? If I don't, you might sue me. And all I have is my TARDIS. If Torchwood or some other organization got hold of this…" she trailed off. "Anyway, where are we?"

"That's what I asked you!" Azalea replied.

"No, I mean what country and town and year?" the Author asked.

"London, Great Britain, 2014," she answered, confused.

The Author groaned. "Not London!" She sighed. "We have to get out of here! Now!" She ran to the middle of the room, where all the levers and buttons were. "How about Wales? Or Cambridge? Even Cardiff? Or somewhere in Scotland? _Anywhere _but London!"

"What's so bad about London?" Azalea asked.

The Author looked at Azalea, her blue eyes intense with emotion. "The Doctor." She turned back to the controls. "Cambridge is the closest I can go to London without him catching my scent. It's really strong because of the Room."

"Okay, my head is starting to hurt. What is going on?" Azalea took another look at her surroundings. It was practically in her front yard. But a building this size couldn't just appear in her yard? She wondered what it looked like from the outside.

"Oh, Azalea Zimmers, there is a lot going on. Quadrillions of things, all at once. I should know. There's almost too much to write." She sighed, and pulled a lever. "Okay, I've set it to drift. Now it's safe from the Doctor." She turned around, looking at Azalea. "Okay, any questions?"

"Who are you?" Azalea immediately asked.

"I already told you, I'm the Author," she replied.

"Who is the Doctor?"

"He's... like me. Let's just leave it at that," she said quietly.

"Where are we?"

"In the TARDIS. Well, my TARDIS."

"What is that?"

"An acronym for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. She's a… well… a time machine and a spaceship in one. And, she's bigger on the inside." The Author grinned.

"But… that's impossible!" Azalea exclaimed. The Author laughed.

Azalea went over to the door and opened it, almost falling into space. She immediately closed the door again.

"What the 'ell?!"

The Author chuckled. "I told you."

"What are you then? From the future?"

"Nope. I guess I'm from the past," she answered.

"But that's not possible!" Azalea exclaimed.

"Stop saying that!" the Author said in mock annoyance.

"But it's not! Humans couldn't travel in time before now!"

"Correctamundo!" The Author chuckled. "Hey, that's good. I should say that more often. Anyway, you cannot be more right. _Humans _can't travel in time yet."

"So, what are you saying?" Azalea asked. "You're an alien?"

"Correctamundo!" The Author laughed again. "Wow, that is really fun to say. I'm a Time Lord. Or, Time Lady. I like Time Lord better because it makes me sound less girly. Do I look girly?"

Azalea looked at the Author's fedora, neck tie, scarf, men's trench coat, and trainers. "Um… No. More like… A person with no sense of fashion at all."

The Author gasped in exaggerated offence. "Are you criticizing my fashion sense?! I've never felt so insulted in any of my regenerations!" she sobbed.

"Erm… Okay…" Azalea scratched her head in confusion. The Author put her head in her hands, sobbing.

About twenty seconds later, the Author bounced back up, her face tear-streaked and her eyes red and puffy.

"Okay! So, where would you like to live?" she said cheerfully, like she hadn't just been crying. "Got any relatives in Sheffield? Or Manchester? Maybe Nottingham?"

"Um… No… I don't have any family," Azalea said quietly. "I had a boyfriend, but it wasn't serious, and I just broke up with him…" Then, she realized something. "Oh my God… Everything I own is gone… I don't have anything at all…"

The Author looked at Azalea, guilt written all over her face. "I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and change where I did my experiment."

"Why can't you? You have a time machine," she said.

"Yes, yes I do. But unless Time wants to help you, I can't go back. And it seems that Time doesn't want you to, seeing as it wrote about me blowing up your house. Time usually doesn't change its mind."

"Okay, I am confused again," Azalea warned her. "You're talking like time is a living thing."

"That's because it is," the Author replied wistfully. "And I'm its Author."

"But… How?"

The Author smirked. "Paper. Pencil. What else?"

"That doesn't make any sense. How do you write time with a paper and pencil? And how do you not know everything in the universe?"

"So many questions…" The Author smirked. "It's complicated. And how do you know that I don't know everything in the universe?" She winked. "No. I don't. I don't even remember most things I write about. However, if I concentrate really hard, or I write myself a reminder, or something I see reminds me of something I thought was important while I knew, I will remember some of it."

Azalea suddenly realized she was still holding the newspaper she'd been skimming over earlier. In her house. That doesn't exist anymore. "So, you wrote all this?" She waved the newspaper to catch the Author's attention.

The Author took the newspaper from Azalea, reading it extremely fast. "Rose Tyler… No… Rose Tyler… How in Rassilon's name did she get back to this universe?!" She said something else that sounded like a curse word in a different language.

"Didn't you write it?" Azalea asked.

"No, I didn't. Sometimes, Time writes itself. And sometimes rewrites what I write. And sometimes people or the Doctor rewrite Time by themselves." She said what sounded like another curse word. "And now the Bad Wolf is back in this universe!" She ran over to the controls, tripping over her shoelaces in the process. Another curse word.

"Maybe you should tie your trainers," Azalea suggested. The Author got up from the floor, readjusting her fedora.

She shook her head. "Nah. What would be the fun in that? And they would be tight if I did that. I like them loose."

Azalea rolled her eyes. "There's only one word I can think of to describe you."

"And what is that?" She went over to the controls, this time not tripping, and started flipping switches.

"'Dork'," she answered.

"Oh, well, I'll take that as a compliment!" The Author grinned at Azalea, and then turned back to the controls. "Okay, how about I drop you off somewhere in Britain?"

"I thought you were going to help me pick a house…" the brunette said.

"That was the case, but something popped up."

"You have a _time machine._ You can go wherever and whenever you want. We can go buy a house a month ago so when we go back to present time I can just move in."

"Or," the Author grinned, "You could come with me. Plenty of room. It gets rather lonely, all by myself. Being the second-to-last Time Lord, I don't interact with people. Or anything. And you seem smart, besides the fact that you think it's possible for things to be impossible. And by the way it isn't." All of a sudden, she gasped in excitement. "Did you hear that? It's impossible for things to be impossible!"

"So?"

"If it's impossible for things to be impossible, then it is possible for things to be impossible, including things being impossible!" The Author laughed longer than a normal person would. "Oh, Rassilon, that was fun. I love those; gives me a fantastic feeling but damages my brain a bit. Even stops my right heart for a minute or so."

Azalea looked at the Author incredulously. "I'm going to try to stop being surprised at stuff you say. It's too much work."

The Author laughed, and then went over to Azalea. She grabbed one of azalea's hands and put it over her heart, so she could feel it beating. Then she put it on the other side of her chest, and to Azalea's amazement, another heartbeat was there.

Azalea put her hand down, and looked up at the Author. She had to, because the Author was very tall compared to her. The woman—who she could now confirm was definitely _not _human—smiled warmly.

There was a moment of silence while they looked at each other, before the author swung back around to the controls and started typing on a keyboard that Azalea hadn't noticed before.

"I don't normally cause attention to myself… Don't want people talking about me like they do the Doctor." Azalea came up behind the Time Lord, looking at the screen. Some circles popped up on it, and the Author exclaimed something.

"We're going back to London, Azalea," she said, still looking at the screen.

"Why?" the brunette asked.

"That's where Rose Tyler—"she held up the newspaper over her shoulder, "is hiding. We need to get there before the Doctor finds out she's there. We'd never find her then, unless…" she trailed off. "Never mind."

"Okay, but _who is Rose Tyler_?" Azalea asked.

"She's the Bad Wolf. She'll destroy this universe if I don't help her control herself," the Author answered.

**First chapter done! Please tell me what you think! I need feedback!  
**

**(1): I may be a nerd, but I don't know that much about electrons and radiation. I made this up myself, so it probably doesn't even make sense.**


	3. Rose is Back! Yay! :D

**This is shorter than the last one, sorry about that. But it's an important chapter.**

Rose Tyler closed the door to her car, then walked over to the door of her mum's house and opened it slowly, making it creak.

She went inside, closing the door behind her. It creaked again, louder. She sighed in frustration. She hated that sound. It was so high-pitched.

"Rosie!" Tony appeared from around the corner of the hallway to greet her. She smiled at her little brother. He had just recently turned 3.

"Hello, Tony." She bent down and gave him a hug. The three-year-old grinned, so you could see that one tooth still hadn't grown in.

The blonde little boy ran back to where he was before, around the corner. She wondered what he was doing.

Ever since John, the human Doctor, died on a Torchwood mission, said company closed down, and Rose was back to working in a shop. She laughed bitterly. The Doctor gave her John so she could live a happy life. It didn't even last a year! Now neither of them was happy, and the Doctor was even worse off than her.

"Rose, honey, could you come here for a second?" she heard her mum call from the next room. She started walking forward, but suddenly stopped, against her will.

_The Bad Wolf is coming home! _a voice that sounded like hers but wasn't hers said.

Everything turned fuzzy all of a sudden. Then, it all disappeared, becoming black, but just for a second. When everything became clear again, she frowned. She was not in her house! She was in the street!

"What?" she said aloud. People walking past glanced at her. Then she realized the lack of a certain sound. Looking up, she saw the sky. No zeppelins.

"What's going on?" she mumbled.

_The Bad Wolf is home! _the voice that sounded like hers said in her head, like the first time. Rose's eyes widened. That wasn't possible! How… how could she be back in her universe?!

The blonde looked around. She couldn't… she couldn't just go from one universe to the next!

"Oh my God…" she heard someone from behind her say. She turned around, seeing a woman with brown hair. "I remember you. You're one of those people that died eight years ago! You're Rose Tyler!"

"Eight years?" Rose said aloud.

0o0o0

"Where have you been for the past eight years?"

"Were you kidnapped?"

"Why don't you look like any time has passed since then?"

These kinds of questions were asked over and over again. Rose quickly decided to play the amnesia game and pretend she didn't remember anything.

She let some journalists interview her as well. If she got on the news or the newspaper, the Doctor might find her.

The Doctor…

The Doctor's metacrisis had decided to call himself John Noble, since he was sort of Donna's brother. He hadn't been the same as the actual Doctor. He didn't have any of the memories past the time where the Doctor's hand was cut off during the Sycorax duel.

When he'd died, Rose felt grief, but she knew that the Doctor, the actual, Time Lord Doctor, was still out there. He was in a parallel universe, but still.

Now, she was back in her own universe, the Doctor universe, she could get back to her Doctor. But only after she knew she was back…

But how did she get back?

She'd been given a bit of money so she wouldn't be broke. It definitely wasn't much, but she'd found an empty flat in such bad shape no one else wanted to live there that she could rent a part of until she got enough money for something suitable for humans.

About a week later, she heard a very familiar sound coming from outside. She gasped, and ran out of the flat, feeling a floorboard almost collapse beneath her feet.

A blue police box materialized by the street. A woman with a very odd combination of clothing and bright ginger hair stepped out, saying something about accidentally leaving the brakes on, along with a much more normal-looking, brunette woman. The strange one looked back at the police box.

"I think the chameleon circuit is having some problems. Why would it think that a police box would be normal? Does the Doctor come to London so often police boxes are normal again?" she said with a Cockney accent.

"Chameleon circuit?" the other woman questioned.

"All TARDISes had a chameleon circuit. Wherever you went in it, the first nanosecond it was there, it would change to look like something that would be normal for that place," she explained. "Apparently police boxes are normal again, or the chameleon circuit is just acting weird."

"Police boxes aren't normal again," the brunette said.

"Well it must be the Doctor then," the ginger one said. "His chameleon circuit malfunctioned in the '60's more than a few hundred years ago and he never fixed it."

"The '60's weren't more than a few hundred years ago…" the brunette said. "Oh, wait…" She smiled knowingly at the ginger. "Time travel. Of course."

"Yup!" the ginger chirped.

The brunette turned, seeing Rose. "Hey, Author… Is that Rose Tyler?"

The ginger looked, seeing Rose. "Yep! Let's go say 'Yello'!" She skipped over to Rose. "Yello!" She laughed. "I'm the Author, and this—" the brunette came up behind her, "—is Azalea Zimmers."

"Hi," Azalea said, smiling.

"But… but… what?" Rose finally said.

"Yes?" the Author said.

"What… a TARDIS… You're not the Doctor…"

"Nope! Neither is she, or you, or anyone in London, at least for now!" the Author said cheerfully. "That's why you need to come with me, before one of them _is _the Doctor."

"But who are you?"

"I told you! I'm the Author! AKA Dame Author of Time, or Author, Writer of Time, or Arkytior, Bane of the Racnoss, or Arkytior, Reaper Slayer." The Author chuckled. "I have a lot of names, don't I?"

"But… the Doctor said… the last of the Time Lords…"

The Author grimaced. "It's complicated. The Doctor doesn't know I'm alive. He thought I'd died with everyone else."

Then, there was another wheezing noise, and another police box started to materialize. The Author's eyes widened.

"Rose! Azalea! Get in my TARDIS!" she shouted hurriedly. Azalea immediately reacted, but Rose didn't.

"That's the Doctor, isn't it?" she said calmly.

"Yes! But you have to come with me, not him!"

"Why not?"

"I'll explain in the TARDIS!" The Author grabbed Rose's arm and pulled her into the TARDIS with surprising strength.

0o0o0

The Doctor stepped out of his TARDIS, just in time to see another TARDIS disappear and start to change its outside appearance with a fully functioning chameleon circuit.

"What?!" He ran over to the place where it was standing, feeling the power that it had released when it disappeared. It tickled. He inhaled deeply, catching the scents of a human woman, a Time Lady, and… something else. Wait… Time Lady?!

He took in another deep breath. The human woman he didn't recognize. He almost didn't recognize Rose, but the Time Lady he could recognize anywhere.

It was Arkytior. She was the one his granddaughter was named after. She was his first love. She had been one of the most important people in the universe. She was alive.

And she took Rose.

**Done with this chapter. Expect the next one in a couple days.**

**Please review!**


	4. The Author Goes to the Room

**I'm so sorry for the long wait... I got writer's block.**

**I thought I had lost this chapter, so I rewrote it. Right after I finished it, I found the unfinished copy I thought I had lost. -.-**

**But that's okay; I like this version better. I hope it ain't too confusing.**

"What is going on?!" Rose exclaimed as the door of the TARDIS closed.

The Author ignored her, pulling levers and pushing buttons. The TARDIS made a sound, signaling that it stopped.

"That was close…" The Author sighed in relief. She shook a finger at Rose. "We can't let him find you until it's complete." She spun around, clapping a few times before she suddenly stopped in front of Rose and put on a very serious face.

"Okay, listen, Rose." The Author made a noise. "Huh. We have the same name. My name means 'Rose' in Gallifreyan. Anyway..." she trailed off, trying to remember what she was talking about. "Oh! Right! Listen, you were in the parallel world just last week, right?" she asked.

Rose nodded. "But how do you know—"

The ginger-haired woman pulled a hair out of Rose's head before she could react. "Rose, what is your natural hair color?" she asked.

"Brown," Rose answered.

"Nope!" the Author chirped. "It's blonde."

"Um… I think I'd know my own hair color," Rose replied.

"Well… Hm. I'll be right back." The Author skipped away, holding Rose's piece of hair above her head.

"She's like the Doctor, but worse, I think," Rose remarked, rubbing her head.

Azalea chuckled. "I'm used to it, I think. I've been with her for a few months, looking for you. The Author said that Bad Wolf was trying to keep us away, but we finally managed to get to you."

"Why do you need me?" Rose asked.

"I don't know…" Azalea sighed. "The Author has hardly told me anything."

"I've found it!" The Author ran back into the control room where Rose and Azalea were standing. "Rose! You really need to come here!" She raced out of the room again, and Rose followed.

They were in a very science-y room. There was a screen with a DNA pattern on it.

"This is your DNA," the Author said.

"Okay…" Rose didn't see anything weird about it.

"Don't you see? This is a quadruple helix! Humans have a double helix!" She pointed to the screen. "Bad Wolf has gotten into your DNA and is changing it. But into what...? I don't know yet. But we'll find out in 172,800 seconds at the most. Oh, wait, I forgot, you don't go by seconds, those are apparently too small. Earth time is so weird. I mean forty-eight hours. Two days. Whatever."

"Bad Wolf… is in my DNA? But I thought…" The Doctor had told her that he had extracted all of "Bad Wolf" from her being.

The Author laughed. "Bad Wolf is not just in your DNA… it has combined its DNA with yours. That's how your DNA is now a quadruple helix. That's amazing! I've never seen anything like it… I must have written this myself."

Rose was confused at the last part, but ignored it. "I—" The Author suddenly became as stiff as a tree trunk.

"Oh, no… Not now! Why couldn't you just wait for 31,536,000 more seconds?" the Author grumbled. "Or at least 2,678,400…" She suddenly ran past Rose and Azalea to the control room. She started pulling levers and flicking knobs.

"I need to be somewhere… I can't leave you anywhere, or the Doctor will find you. So, you two will just need to wait in the TARDIS while I do this, and DON'T come out. No matter what, DON'T COME OUT. I will not call you, so if you hear me, it's not me. If it were me, I'd open the doors. Got it?"

Azalea and Rose looked at each other, a bit afraid. "Okay…" they said simultaneously.

The Author grinned at them. There was something different about her eyes… "Good. Now…" She walked to the doors. "I'll be seeing you two later. Hopefully not much later." She opened the doors to bare whiteness and walked out, the whiteness engulfing her. The doors snapped shut.

0o0o0

"Yes… of course… Just one person changes everything. Yes, it was my idea. All my fault. But I thought I'd add some humor! The Pandorica is not important right now. Neither are Romans. ...I don't care. No, I am not doing this for my own selfish reasons. Gosh, what do you take me for, a human? I am doing this for the Doctor." The Author scribbled something down on her piece of paper.

"Okay, fine. I admit it. It is pretty funny to build up all that suspense and then have nothing happen. No, not the Pandorica, the other thing! What is your obsession with the Pandorica? I'm not even close to editing that part!" She sighed. "I'm done arguing. This part is done. Can I go, now? Knowing everything is giving me a headache, and I'm pretty far. There aren't any time paradoxes in this part, either, so I should be fine for now."

The Author rubbed her eyes with her arm. When she took her arm away, her bright blue eyes were filled with the knowledge of the universe, after spending the equivalent of millions and millions of years in the Room.

She jumped up. "Finally! Oh, wait…" she grabbed a piece of paper out of the air and purple pen. She scribbled something. "Gotta make sure Lesley has to clean the litterbox out. If she doesn't, everyone in Utah will smell it!" She laughed and headed for the TARDIS.

"Oh, I hope Rose and Azalea didn't get into any trouble. If they did, they won't be able to…" The ginger Time Lord chuckled before she finished. "Oh, yes. We are definitely going to be busy soon, especially Rose." She opened the door to the TARDIS, finding no one in the control room.

"Rose…? Azalea?" She closed the door behind her before the... things could get in. She went down the hallway, calling them. "Where are you?!" She started to panic. What if...?

She walked into the kitchen, finding the two hiding behind the counter, eating tea. The Author sighed in relief. "There you two are. Why are you having tea behind the counter?" Then, she realized they looked absolutely terrified. "What's the matter?" She asked, even though she was sure she knew

"Th-there's a Dalek looking for us the halls…" Rose stuttered.

"I told you, Rose, it's a M-Manticore, not a Dal-whatever," Azalea replied, sounding as terrified as Rose.

The Author nodded solemnly. "You opened the doors of the TARDIS, didn't you?"

"Well, i-it sounded like you, and it said you forgot your k-key and couldn't get in, so we o-opened the door to find n-nothing," Rose stuttered, ashamed.

"I like to call them Nightmares. They appear as the thing you're most terrified of, and heighten your fear emotion. It's to keep things out that are not welcome. If it gets ahold of either of you, it will kill you. I'll go get it out." She turned away from them, taking a step forward. But she turned back for a second.

"By the way, how long was I gone?"

"A-a week and a half," Azalea replied.

"Wow! That was lucky!" The Author grinned. "Sometimes it can be millions of years." She walked out of the kitchen, leaving the two women to look at each other with widened eyes.

"Okay, where are you? Ah!" The Author caught the thing by its neck. It had cat-like eyes and pale skin. She walked through the hallways to the control room and threw the thing out, into the mist. "And don't come back! My friends should be welcome, too!"

She closed the doors. "God, let's just get out of here," she mumbled, rubbing her head. "I hate knowing everything." She started the TARDIS, and it rocked a bit. "Whoa, that wasn't supposed to happen. Oh! Right! I remember! I'm supposed to—" The knowledge and years started disappearing from her eyes. "What was I going to say?" She went to open the doors, when she realized she should probably check on Rose and Azalea, since they still had to get over their enhanced emotions.

She walked back into the kitchen, finding the two girls calmly sitting at the table, having tea properly. She plopped in the seat between them.

"Yello! Are you two okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," they both said simultaneously. The Author laughed.

"Good. So am I." She grabbed a chip and took a bite of it, but dropped it immediately and jumped from her seat. "Rose! I said 172,800 seconds, right? Well, Azalea said it's been—"

"987,892 seconds exactly," Rose finished. The Author and Azalea looked at her blankly. "What?" she asked self-consciously.

"You shouldn't calculate…" The Author's mind started working faster than her mouth as she pulled Rose through the hallway. "Head – human – possibly – pineapples?"

"Author, slow down," Rose said. The Time Lord opened a door. It was a closet. She dove into it.

"AHA!" she exclaimed after a minute of searching. She pulled out a... sonic screwdriver. And it was the same blue as her scarf, tie, fedora, etc.

"Really? You have one, too?" Rose rolled her eyes.

"Well, it was a really good idea… I thought I might need it sometime. I guess I've stolen two ideas from the Doctor." She shrugged. She took the screwdriver, and used it on Rose. The owner of the sonic screwdriver's eyes widened. "There's no way…" she breathed. "Don't I have some sick humor?" She slapped herself. "That's for turning Rose into a Time Lady!" She shook a finger at herself, glaring at the finger.

"WHAT?!" Rose exclaimed.

"Yeah…" The Author sucked in a breath. "This was most likely all my doing. Time couldn't have written this by itself. The multi-quadrillion-year-old me must have wanted some competition or… something…" She suddenly passed out, giving Rose barely enough time to catch her.

**Yaay! Rose is a Time Lady! The Author is random and likes pineapples! The Doctor has not been seen for a whole chapter! (He had his own point of view in version 1 of this, but I changed it in this version. Muahahahah.)**


End file.
